he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
