Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
