Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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