Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
