i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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