Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i think i just lost a toe
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
