I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I will pee on everything he values.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
sex in a hospital.. check
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Randomize
