Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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