is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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