going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize