He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
