Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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