But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
