we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Found the puke drawer
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
