What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
