Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
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