this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Are we still banned from the library?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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