It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
