my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
