I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I think we might need a safe word for this...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
