just come out here and I will go home with you...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
