I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
