yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
