I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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