why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
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