Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
