Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
