she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
