I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
