bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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