Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
