hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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