What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
