so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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