He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
