operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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