I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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