I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
