Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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