Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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