I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
