Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
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