well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
