yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
