My brain says no but my pants say off.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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