he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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