also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
