at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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