I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
