It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
