Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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