Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
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