on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
