drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
